Personal: Echoes of Light

 

My father's obituary

January 25th, 2025

• I was having a conversation with my sister over Messenger. During the conversation, she sent me something that reminded me of a deeply emotional memory from when my ex-boyfriend's daughter, Kira (age 7), passed away.
• Before Kira experienced brain death (on December 10th, 2016), her father and I had been prepared for the moment it would happen. We were told what to expect and what to watch out for. So, when her vitals tanked, we knew that she was experiencing brain death. In that moment, we both saw an orb of light exit her nose and float away, as though her soul were leaving her body. This occurred at the exact moment of her brain death, when her vitals tanked.
• After telling my sister about this incident, and while reflecting on Kira's passing, I had an unexpected vision of my father's death. My dad passed away on March 19th, 2010. He was 54 years of age, and I was 23 years of age. I, along with my sisters, my mother, and two of my nieces, were at his side when he died. I was sitting next to him when it happened, my hand on his shoulder. I had been carefully watching his breathing, because it had slowed and had become erratic. After a while, I noticed that he had stopped breathing, and I informed my mom that he was no longer breathing.
• Shortly after he had stopped breathing, one of my niece's (1 year old) began freaking out and crying inconsolably. She had been looking up toward the ceiling (up, over my head), near the corner of the living room next to the hallway that led to the bathroom. It's as if she could sense that something was in the room with us. I had to take her into my parent's bedroom to calm her down while arrangements were made.
• The vision I had was spontaneous and I've never quite had a vision like this one before. As such, I questioned it. I had intended to document the experience on my Bluesky, but didn't feel comfortable doing so. Due to the sensitive and questionable nature of the vision, I was reticent to put it out there to be exposed to criticism or ridicule. But I did compose a post. Instead of sharing it, I cut and pasted it into a note on my phone's notepad with the idea that I might eventually share it here.
• The vision I had was from his perspective at the moment of his death. He was formless, just like my many out-of-body experiences. I, as my father, found myself immediately detached from my/his body. I was floating up over his daughter's (my 23-year-old self) head, hovering near the same area that my niece had been looking at. He was completely emotionally removed from the dramatic scene before him. He was calm, just observing his death play out. That was it. That was the vision.

January 26th, 2025

• Last night, at 7:11pm CST, I received a message from my sister. She told me that she just gotten home from our mom's house. She said, "So we are sitting in the living room, chatting it up, and I see a light out of my peripherals shoot by in the hallway. Kinda in the bedroom. I told mom that my "eyes are messing with me," and she asks me, "You saw that too?" Oh, I got the goosebumps. I go in there and look in her room, then shut the door. Like one minute later, I turn around and the door is back open. We were freaked, lol."
• At 7:12pm, I respond, asking, "Like an orb or a flash?" I asked this because our last exchange had been about my ex-partner and I seeing that orb of light exit Kira's nose. I knew that if she told me that it was an orb of light, that it was directly related to the vision I'd had the night before of my father leaving his body.
• At 7:14pm, she responded, "Orb, but I don't know. Later I thought I saw a bug flying around the light, but mom said there hasn't been any bugs in the house and I never saw it again after that. It was quick like the orb. Mom said orb too. She said she sees it all the time, but that she thought it was her bad eyesight."
• I responded at 7:25pm with, "I think THAT was Dad." My mom and sister often equate nearly all of their paranormal experiences with it being related to my father's presence. But that's not something I usually agree with. So, for me to admit that it might be him this time, is not my typical response. (Wow! It's 8:17am on January 27th, 2025, and I am currently having deja vu as I am typing this out.)
• She then messaged me back around 7:27pm with, "[Nephew's name] kept looking and pointing in there. He went and opened the bedroom door, got scared and came running back in. Yeah, I think so too. I felt bad leaving mom, lol. She was spooked herself. She shut the door, shut the curtain she has hung in the hallway, and shut the light off."
• This orb sighting was in the same area I had seen in my vision the night before, near the hallway entrance that leads to the bedroom, aligning eerily with the memory of his passing. I felt like this was a confirmation of that vision that I had had.
• My sister also mentioned that her youngest child, my nephew, who is also now just one year old—the same age as my niece at the time of my dad's passing—had been pointing at the hallway and looking toward the same area. He opened the bedroom door, seemed startled, and quickly ran back, as though he had sensed or had witnessed something unusual. This mirrored my niece's behavior during my father's death. I even took her into my parent's bedroom (the same bedroom they said they saw the orb fly toward last night) to console her.
• I hesitated to share my vision with my sister when she was detailing this incident to me. Historically, my family has always dismissed or downplayed my experiences, which has taught me a lot about "knowing your audience." Unfortunately, it has also resulted in me having to work through a lot of self-doubt and second-guessing in my later years. It's partly why I am so diligent in chronicling and documenting my experiences. Not just to convince others, but to remind myself of their validity. One can easily argue and dismiss word of mouth testimonials, but it's a little more difficult to disregard timestamped evidence. (That being said, no amount of proof will convince those who're determined not to believe. There is no point in wasting effort on those individuals. And that's perfectly okay. We're only open to what we're ready for.) The following clip is one such example:

• Shortly after my text exchange with my sister, I noticed a faint ectoplasmic mist in my left peripheral vision.
• When I went to go find the clip you see above, which I have unlisted on a backup YouTube account, I noted a synchronicity:

Notice the caption: "A Stitch in Time."

• During a group text exchange on January 21st, 2025, I noted a synchronicity in regard to something that was shared by another member of the group (which I won't share the context of that synchronicity here, as to respect the privacy of the other individuals involved). Here is a screenshot of my texts:

• The blog post I am referring to can be found here. I shared a series of screenshots from an old Twitter archive. Here are the screenshots I shared in the group chat:

• I have reuploaded the full clip (with a minor edit/omission for privacy reasons) from that Halloween podcast (The Spiral) to Rumble, for additional context:

Disappearing Evidence

• I had considered sharing my vision with my sister. But I wasn't going to share it with her without some proof. Remembering that I had made a timestamped note in my phone's notepad, I went to look for it. Adding to the strange events, it was completely gone. 
• Similarly, I went to look up an old blog post (in a private blog) where I recount the events mentioned in The Spiral video. During a séance with three friends, a friend and I witnessed a spiraling vortex suddenly appear behind the friend (Renee) we see giving a testimonial in the video above. The other friend and I collectively gasped and screamed when we saw it suddenly manifest. By the time Renee had turned around, it was gone. The friend who had witnessed it with me was so upset by it, that she gathered up her things and left. Below is an excerpt from a blog post from April 23rd, 2012, where this incident is referenced:

"Okay... so my friend and I had a particularly strange experience yesterday and it got me to realize that these paranormal experiences seem to ramp up whenever I have company... As if, whatever it is, wants to show off/get the attention to/of my friends. I may have mentioned to a few of you the spiral in my kitchen that several of us witnessed, finding/seeing random doors open, etc. And most of these 'disturbances' happened when I had friends over."

• Just like the disappearing note I had thought about sharing with my sister, whatever blog entries I may have made about the spiral incident no longer exist. I've even checked both of my Twitter archives for mentions of this event and couldn't find anything. I know that I have shared a written statement about this before, but apparently, all such records are all gone. (Change, Rearrange.)
• In the future, I will share that full blog post. But it will be its own topic of discussion altogether. The title of that entry is "Everybody Wants to be a Cat." I had intended to include the following movie poster in Part 3 of The Observer Effect, but feel like it's appropriate here too:

"A cat has nine lives. Three for playing, three for straying, and three for staying."

Update:
(at 9:44am on January 27th, 2025)

I completely forgot to mention a few disturbing things that happened before I went to sleep last night! I did make a post on Bluesky about this and will embed that below. I began having sinister visions, not the usual kind. They felt like hallucinations from a bad acid trip (Choronzon). But there was a full-bodied apparition that preceded these visions. Similar to what I've been posting about in recent entries (The Observer Effect), I saw my doppelganger. It was a foot shorter than I am, but it resembled me. It was standing in front of my computer chair, at my desk. It looked like a necromantic version of myself.

 It reminded me of Samara in the movie The Ring. I don't normally get scared from visions or apparitions, but this deeply disturbed me. It reminded me of an experience I'd had with the infamous Hat Man (yet another topic of discussion for another time), an entity entirely distinct from the shadow people I've talked about elsewhere. If you're unfamiliar with this entity, just do a quick search for The Hat Man. There are countless historical reports of this Mothman-like being, and they are all extremely similar. Anyway, I'd had one confirmed encounter with the Hat Man when I was around 7 or 8 years of age. I've never forgotten it, and I've always prayed that I would never have the experience again.

Even though I didn't end up seeing this figure in my doorway or in a corner of my bedroom, I was worried I was going to. Because the doppelganger reminded me of the severed head (my head) that the Hat Man had conjured at my bedside when I was a little girl (while it was standing in the doorway). After I saw this doppelganger last night, I began receiving demented visuals (clairvoyance). Like I said, it reminded me of a bad acid trip. I kept seeing creepy characters with morphing faces, and I had the same sense of dread that I'd had when the Hat Man (who is briefly referenced in The Spiral video shared above) appeared in my door entryway nearly 30 years ago.

Some pretty terrifying visions tonight. Super demented. Disturbing. Not grotesque, but very sinister. I don't get visions like these very often. Don't like it. And I'm not going to describe them. There was an apparition at my computer desk too. But I can't even think about it, or I won't sleep.

[image or embed]

— HermaJestar (@hermajestar.com) January 26, 2025 at 10:13 PM

Part Two: The Observer Effect

"The Demiurge first creates the World Soul, composed of two cosmic circles whose intersections take the form of an X. According to Plato, the Cosmic Soul itself is invisible, but the Creator decides to make the visible body of the universe as similar as possible to the invisible soul.

"Now while the body of the universe had come to be as a visible thing, the soul was invisible." — Plato, Timaeus 

"Now when the Father who had begotten the universe observed it set in motion and alive, a thing that had come to be as a shrine for the everlasting gods, he was well pleased, and in his delight he thought of making it more like its model still. So, as the model was itself an everlasting Living Thing, he set himself to bringing this universe to completion in such a way that it, too, would have that character to the extent that was possible." — Plato, Timaeus 

In other words, the visible body of the universe mirrors as closely as possible the form of the invisible Cosmic Soul, whose two intersecting circles give the shape of an X. To give us a clue as to the components of this cosmic scheme, Plato reveals that one of the celestial circles, the circle of the Different, follows the path of the Wanderers, the seven Planets that trace out the zodiac." - George Latura

In this continuation of the discussion from Part One: The Observer Effect, we delve deeper into the fascinating interplay between observation and reality. Building on the foundational concepts introduced in the first part, we will explore how the act of observing shapes not only the outcome but also the very essence of what is being observed. If you haven't read Part One yet, I encourage you to go check it out before diving into this next layer of the discussion.

What is the Observer Effect?

In quantum mechanics, the Observer Effect refers to the alteration of a quantum system upon measurement. Particles exist in a superposition—a state of multiple possibilities—until observed, at which point the wave function collapses into a definite state. This phenomenon suggests that consciousness plays a pivotal role in shaping reality.

When multiple versions of an event, object, or person appear simultaneously—such as the example of "Alice" in the Apple TV show Constellation—it suggests a fleeting overlap or collision of parallel realities. These realities may represent different trajectories of possibility, momentarily revealed to the observer as the boundaries between dimensions thin. (This phenomenon is likely what underlies the sightings of 'shadow people' and 'shadow figures'—dimensional bleeding. It may involve something crossing over from one dimension or reality into the one where our locus of awareness resides.)

The following passages are from another recent blog entry:

The brain acts as both a receiver and interpreter of the dynamic patterns that constitute reality, constantly constructing and reconstructing the world we experience. This process, though largely unconscious, occasionally reveals itself in moments of disruption, offering glimpses into the intricate mechanics of our perception and its relationship to the larger cosmos.

"You have heard the expression before, I am sure, that the environment expresses a particular individual's personality. I am telling you that this is a literal and not symbolic truth. The letters upon the page have the reality only of ink and paper. The information they convey is invisible. As an object, this book itself is only paper and ink. It is a carrier of information.

You may perhaps argue that the book was manufactured physically, and did not suddenly erupt through Ruburt's skull, already printed and bound. You in turn had to borrow or purchase the book, so you may think, 'Surely, I did not create the book, as I created my words.' But before we are finished, we will see that basically speaking, each of you create the book you hold in your hands, and that your entire physical environment comes as naturally out of your inner mind as words come out of your mouths, and that man forms physical objects as unselfconsciously and as automatically as he forms his own breath." - Seth via Jane Roberts

On October 31st, 2016, I was reading New Dimensions for the Cube of Space: The Path of Initiation Revealed by the Tarot upon the Qabalistic Cube by David Allen Hulse. I had already read the chapter and was going back over a specific page to reference something. As I revisited that part, I watched the book page rearrange itself right before my eyes, with entirely new sections and words appearing that hadn’t been there before.

Looking for an image from an episode of Rick and Morty in my Twitter archive, I saw that attached was a passage (from the preface of Manya J. Long's book, The Psyche as Interaction) that entangles with my anecdotal evidence of a reality shift I had observed myself in 2016.

"'The sine-wave is the sum total of the waveform (thoughtform).' That sentence, complete with the punctuation, acted as a catalyst in my twenty-year journey in search of a comprehensive structure in which to understand the nature of the paranormal phenomena that I have experienced since I was two years old. Originally, I thought I had seen that sentence in a book that I had been reading before I fell asleep one night. However, the next morning, I searched through the entire book and could not find it. This even happened in November, 1990." - Manya J. Long

Now, quickly revisiting this quote of mine, "I had already read the chapter and was going back over a specific page to reference something. As I revisited that part, I watched the book page rearrange itself right before my eyes, with entirely new sections and words appearing that hadn’t been there before." Why does that sound familiar?

It's when I... do a double take... it's when I LOOK AGAIN. Re-View. Re-Visit.

The glitch in the blog post, where the second video was temporarily replaced with a duplicate of the first, represents this disruption (The Tower moment, The Fool taking a Quantum Leap, Flip-Flopping around in the Upside Down like the Hanged Man from the blasted Tree). When multiple versions of a reality or archetype appear simultaneously, it can symbolize the interplay of potentialities vying for coherence within the field of perception. My reality (the observation and record of this glitch) paralleled exactly what was going on in the video clips. 

It should be noted that, from repeated experiences of mine, these reality shifts go hand-in-hand with what I have termed, "Glitch Warps." This will be a topic entirely of its own for future discussion.

In this case, the doubling of the Observer Effect video could symbolize the recursive nature of observation itself—where the act of witnessing creates a feedback loop that manifests as a "double take." Refreshing the page resolved the glitch, suggesting that the phenomenon was transient, aligning with the idea that such experiences are fleeting intersections of energetic fields rather than permanent disruptions. (Blipping in, blipping out.)

In the Constellation clip, the character, Bud, observes two versions of "Alice." The two Alices are not physical twins but manifestations of diverging timelines or realities, coexisting momentarily before collapsing into one dominant narrative. But, as Bud states, "It can't decide what it wants to be." (A Rickle in Time, just can't Make up my Mind.) This mirrors the quantum state of superposition, where all possibilities exist until they are observed.

In Norse mythology, Thor's hammer, Mjölnir, is a symbol of lightning. The lightning in The Tower tarot card is, therefore, synonymous with Thor's hammer, delivering a powerful and sudden force of change that overthrows outdated structures to come crashing down. Just as a hammer strikes with precision and strength, the lightning symbolizes a divine intervention or cosmic wake-up call where we are forced to make a choice.

In the tarot readers' clips, the archetypal energy of The Tower manifested both symbolically and tangibly: One reader dreamt of a tree struck by lightning (a visual representation of The Tower), while the other experienced the sound bowl falling and crashing during her reading. Both events reflected the disruptive force of The Tower archetype without explicitly pulling the card. This is also a perfect example as to why the many variations of the tarot cards and its symbolism can never actually be wrong.

Tarot reflects the holographic nature of reality, where each part contains the whole. The diverse imagery and interpretations offered by various decks are all valid because they tap into universal archetypes and truths, which are not limited to a single depiction or framework. Symbols like the circle in "zero" or "O" can represent multiple layers of meaning, such as the Fool's journey, wholeness, and infinite potential.

"...and if our consciousness were more fluid, we could literally reach out and touch them." - Dark Matter (Apple TV)

The idea of imposing rigid rules or labeling one interpretation as definitive fails to recognize that tarot, much like reality, is multidimensional and fluid. Every image, glyph, or design contributes to a broader understanding, acting as a portal for different perspectives and insights. This flexibility allows tarot to resonate deeply on individual levels, adapting to the reader's and querent's unique consciousness. A circle can be both a hole and the whole. Tarot decks, with their rich variety, embody this holographic truth, making all interpretations simultaneously unique and interconnected.

"What we are looking for is what is looking...

Suppose, however, that when somebody sees a pattern-masked word having two possible meanings, the brain-mind becomes a quantum coherent superposition of states—each carrying one of the two meanings of the word.

The quantum mechanical interpretation of the conscious perception data is that the contextual word HAND projects out the dichotomous word PALM (a coherent superposition) the state with the meaning of hand (that is, the WAVE FUNCTION collapses with the choice of hand meaning only). This state has a large overlap (positive associations are expressed in quantum mechanics as larger overlaps of meaning between two states) with the state corresponding to the final word WRIST, and thus the recognition of wrist is facilitated.

Similarly, in the quantum model description of the unmasked incongruent case, the word context of TREE projects out the state with the meaning of tree from the coherent superposition state palm; the overlap of meaning, between the states corresponding to tree and wrist is small, hence the inhibition. In the pattern-masked case, both congruent and incongruent, palm is perceived unconsciously and therefore there is no projection of any particular meaning—no masked PALM leading to a coherent superposition state containing both the tree and hand meanings of PALM can thus be seen. How else would the effect of the biasing word, as in the strings tree-palm-wrist/hand-palm-wrist, get so nearly wiped out when PALM is pattern-masked?

The phenomenon of simultaneously accessing PALM as both a tree and a part of the hand is difficult to account for accurately in a classical linear description of the brain-mind because such description is 'either-or.' The advantage of the 'both-and' quantum description is obvious." - Amit Goswami

In Rickle in Time from Rick and Morty, Rick, Morty, and Summer accidentally create multiple timelines after their uncertainty causes reality to split. They have to work together to fix the fractured timelines while avoiding destruction from time-policing beings.

The OA: "Forking Paths"

The OA

Seeing multiples (or duplicates) reflects the principle of mirroring, where internal states or archetypal energies project outward into the external world. This can be understood through several frameworks:

• The Law of Resonance: Energetic frequencies in the observer's consciousness attract corresponding patterns in reality. Multiples arise as echoes of the same vibrational frequency manifesting in different forms.
• Entanglement and Synchronization: Similar to quantum entanglement, where particles influence each other instantaneously across distances, these manifestations may reveal an interconnectedness across dimensions or timelines.
• Archetypal Convergence: When specific energies dominate the collective consciousness—such as the disruptive and transformative energy of The Tower as seen in the clips of the tarot readers—these archetypes can appear simultaneously and in multiple contexts. If a particular symbol or series of symbols (pattern) repeatedly manifests in one's observational sphere of awareness, the synchronicity serves to capture one's attention and reinforce its significance. These occurrences can be understood as the subconscious mind's way of drawing attention to the underlying themes at play, urging conscious recognition and alignment with the deeper message.

Constellation (Apple TV)

This discussion has only scratched the surface, and there is much more to uncover. Stay tuned for Part Three, where we will delve even deeper into these mysteries and their implications for the nature of existence and human potential.

A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

The Art of Equilibrium and Adjustment

The secret to longevity lies in achieving balance—equilibrium, or homeostasis. For mental clarity and emotional well-being, we must align ourselves with the present while remaining adaptable to its ever-shifting demands. Stability is essential, but it thrives only when paired with flexibility, enabling growth and resilience. Life is an intricate system, composed of interdependent parts, much like cogs in a perpetual motion machine. These cogs spin and sway, propelling existence forward in cyclical patterns. Without occasional disruptions, this system would stagnate, becoming lifeless and inert. Interestingly, imperfection plays a vital role in keeping life dynamic and ever evolving.

When parts of the system falter, they can momentarily disrupt the balance. This temporary disruption introduces foreign elements into the system, allowing for reinvention and renewal. Life as a whole is resilient, capable of learning and improving through trial and error. Breakdowns often lead to breakthroughs; the system not only repairs itself but also upgrades, adapting to new challenges. Like a child exploring their environment, mistakes aren't failures—they're lessons. Just as we wouldn't fault a child's ignorance, we must embrace our own growth process, understanding that learning comes from experimentation and adjustment.

For too long, humanity has viewed itself as separate from nature. Yet, we are deeply integrated into this vast organism. Our physical and mental states mirror natural cycles, with our lives revolving around routines and rhythms. These daily loops serve a purpose—they create structure. However, becoming too entrenched in these habits can lead to rigidity, where life becomes a monotonous repetition. This complacency might feel like stability, but in truth, it's a slow drift toward stagnation. Life, inherently dynamic, disrupts this state to push us out of autopilot and into conscious action.

When we resist these disruptions, life escalates its messages, often through crises or challenges. These upheavals are not punishments but opportunities to rewrite outdated narratives and embrace growth. Resisting change amplifies the difficulty, whereas embracing it helps us break free from cycles that no longer serve us. It's through these moments of transformation that we rediscover vitality and purpose.

At the other extreme, a lack of stability leads to aimlessness. True balance requires a blend of discipline and fluidity. Goals provide direction, motivating us to rise to challenges and grow in structured ways. However, the focus isn't solely on achieving the goal—it's about the transformation that occurs in the pursuit. This process helps us develop resilience and clarity, balancing the tension between rigidity and chaos.

"Let's talk about the dying bird♏ before we start romanticizing about the rising Phoenix." 🦂🐍🦅 - Magali

To maintain (or establish) equilibrium, we must declutter our mental and emotional landscapes. Unprocessed emotions, hesitation, and outdated beliefs can disrupt our inner compass. Thoughts generate energy, while emotions and desires give them form. The importance of reflecting on our experiences cannot be overstated. The common advice to "never look back" is not just misguided—it's potentially harmful. Reflection is an essential practice, particularly when done with intention and regularity, such as nightly before bed. Taking time to meditate on the events of the day allows us to understand how they made us feel, what actions or behaviors contributed to certain outcomes, and whether these circumstances echo unconscious patterns from our past.

This kind of reflection helps us process events that carry deep emotional weight. When we ignore or suppress such experiences, their unresolved energy doesn't simply disappear—it takes root within us. As Carl Jung aptly observed, "What you resist, persists," and unintegrated elements of the psyche often externalize as recurring patterns in the world around us. Old narratives, unhelpful beliefs, and unresolved emotional wounds subtly influence our choices and perceptions, creating a feedback loop that keeps us tethered to the past.

Be careful of what you disown, of what you vehemently reject. Recall the nature of the pendulum. It's everything that you're NOT that defines all that you ARE.

Whether it be an event or a disease, both poles must eventually manifest. What is hated must get integrated. Whatever you're rejecting, you're attracting. Sometimes, like REPELS like. Yikes! 🧲

Reflecting daily allows us to identify these patterns and uncover the lessons hidden within them. By honestly confronting the situations that left an imprint on our minds and hearts, we can begin to integrate their lessons, freeing ourselves from their unconscious grip. For example, if we notice parallels between recent events and older experiences—perhaps the same frustrations, conflicts, or disappointments resurface—it's an opportunity to ask why these dynamics keep appearing. What beliefs, fears, or assumptions might we be carrying that silently attract or recreate these outcomes?

The Hermit "looks back" (introspection, retrospection) from the peak of the mountain, his face towards the trail behind him in contemplation on how far he's come and what got him to his present point. He takes a pregnant pause—assimilating previous experiences—before journeying onward. He does this so that he can take stock of his former follies, trials, failures, and successes alike. This enables him to course-correct moving forward, making adjustments in preparation for the road ahead. By integrating the lessons of prior experience, he can apply the knowledge he has gained to facilitate a smoother path forward.

Without this conscious reflection, we risk living on autopilot, repeating old mistakes or perpetuating unproductive habits. Reflection shines a light on our inner world, bringing awareness to our emotions and choices so we can actively shape the future rather than unconsciously replay the past. Furthermore, integrating unresolved experiences fosters emotional resilience, self-awareness, and growth.

Reflection is not about wallowing in regret or clinging to nostalgia; it's a means of uncovering the truth of our journey. It allows us to revisit past actions and feelings with the goal of understanding their significance and how they've shaped us. By doing this work, we strengthen our ability to discern between actions aligned with our highest aspirations and those driven by fear or unresolved pain.

To cultivate this practice, take a moment each night to review the day. Ask yourself:

• What stood out emotionally? (This is the key question.)
• How did certain interactions or events make you feel, and why?
• Were there choices you made that could have been different?
• Are there repeating patterns or themes connected to past experiences?
• If repeating patterns are noticed, are these patterns something you'd like to perpetuate in your future?
• If not, what small steps can you take tomorrow to foster different patterns?

Approaching reflection as a nightly ritual can become a profound tool for self-discovery and transformation. By integrating these insights, we prevent unprocessed events from festering and manifesting as obstacles in our present or future. This intentional practice helps us to live with greater clarity, purpose, and awareness. Reflection empowers us to rewrite the narrative of our lives, step by step, day by day.

The sword of discernment becomes our greatest tool in this journey. By consciously eliminating what no longer serves us, we make space for renewal. Life demands constant adjustment, but it also promises growth with every step forward. The key is in learning to dance with life's rhythms, adapting to its spirals of change while remaining grounded in purpose.

ChatGPT Hack #1: Trash Talk Boost

Let ChatGPT Hype You Up After a Breakup or Betrayal!

Feeling hurt, angry, or frustrated by someone who did you wrong? Ask ChatGPT to trash-talk the person who hurt you. It's a cathartic, therapeutic alternative to burdening friends or family (who might be tired of hearing about the situation). This approach helps you to process your feelings, laugh at the absurdity of it all, and prevents you from resorting to passive-aggressive actions you might regret later.

Example Request:

"ChatGPT, someone did me dirty. I want you to trash-talk them based on [situation], hype me up, and make me feel like I’m way better off without them."

Pro Tip:

When asking ChatGPT for insights or a vent session, include background context about the interaction. Share key details or even screenshots and let ChatGPT help analyze the subtext and psychological dynamics at play. Through rhetorical analysis, you can gain an objective perspective on the situation, uncover hidden motives, and see through manipulative or emotionally charged behavior. Maintain your class, however, by discreetly keeping this hype session between yourself and ChatGPT.

Part One: The Observer Effect

Constellation (Apple TV)

Dark Matter

Matter and Anti-Matter

You find yourself in liminal space, the no-place between what was and what will be. You have come to a crossroads, the threshold between worlds. A space where the ordinary, the known, dissolves into the extraordinary, the unknown. This is a realm of all-possibility.

A choice point has been reached. It is both a call to action and a call to surrender. Regardless of which path you choose, transformation is inevitable. Trust in the underlying currents tugging forward, those little nudges from your intuition as they silently guide you.

Along this cusp of non-being, one should expect to encounter figures who embody the archetype of the trickster, serving as teachers in disguise. These are not external mentors but projections and embodiments of the Self's shadow—those hidden, suppressed, or repressed fragments that remain unexamined or rejected.

The trickster-teacher's lessons are unsettling yet invaluable, compelling the individual to confront the depths of their psyche. These lessons serve not only to answer your burning questions, but also to help you to discover the deeper questions you haven't yet thought to ask.

This crossroads is not merely a place of choice but a crucible for alchemical change. To engage with these shadows is to integrate the disowned aspects of the Self, a process necessary for reaching authenticity and spiritual growth. The traveler on this path discovers that what was once feared or dismissed holds the key to wholeness.

Choronzon, often called the "Dweller in the Abyss," is a perfect example of a trickster-teacher you might face on your spiritual journey. He's not just there to mess with you—though it can feel like that—but to challenge you by throwing illusions and distractions your way. What 'he's' really doing is holding up a mirror to your own fears, doubts, and fragmented sense of self. If you face and engage him, you're pushed to face your inner chaos and break through the limits of your ego. Ultimately, his seemingly insidious brand of 'tough love' forces you to level up spiritually.

In your everyday life, these trickster figures manifest not as fantastical beings but through the circumstances, challenges, and people you encounter—especially during times of upheaval (The Tower tarot card comes to mind) or uncertainty. A health crisis might force you to confront your vulnerability, unresolved fears, or neglected self-care, becoming a wake-up call to realign your life. Being deceived by others or experiencing betrayal might shatter illusions of trust or control, compelling you to examine your boundaries and discernment. Relationships ending, or even the loss of a loved one, can catalyze profound growth by forcing you to reconcile with impermanence and explore what truly matters.

"The soul needs an outer drama that can help awaken and pull into conscious awareness the inner myth and seeded story it carries within."

These experiences act as externalized projections of the inner myth you carry—the story seeded deep within your soul that longs to be brought into conscious awareness. As the quote suggests, "The soul needs an outer drama that can help awaken and pull into conscious awareness the inner myth and seeded story it carries within." The events that unfold in your life serve as this outer drama, a symbolic theater designed to awaken you to deeper truths about yourself.

In these moments, you are between the past and the future. The people around you may seem to 👂 "come out of the woodwork" to deceive, challenge, or provoke you—not because they are inherently adversarial, but because they embody aspects of your shadow self (projection) that you've yet to acknowledge. Their behaviors reflect unintegrated aspects of your inner world, inviting you to explore your unconscious patterns and unearth the hidden wisdom they contain.

"Maybe the North Star doesn't indicate north. Maybe the mapmaker was drunk. Maybe the moon's made out of cheese. Who knows?! Who knows? Everything is so fucked up on this goddamn road!" - Dead End movie (2003)

The Underworld (implicate/subconsciousness and super-implicate/super-consciousness orders) represents a zone where established constructs (maps) break down. This dissolution reflects the experience of encountering paradoxes, illusions, and "negative existence" where conventional logic fails. This chaos is necessary for transformation, compelling the soul to rely on inner guidance rather than external reference points. Both peril (PiT) and illumination (TiP, garden) are found in these depths (which are also heights).

If Yesod is the Door, Daath is the Key

Janus, the Roman God of Transitions—often associated with Chokmah (Wisdom) and Daath (Knowledge)

The deformed little guys underneath Janus remind me of Kuato (a conjoined TWIN, like Janus) from Total Recall.

Kuato and George, Total Recall

Janus, often depicted with two faces looking in opposite directions, reflects Daath’s dual function as both a gateway and a veil. Daath occupies the threshold between the Supernal Triad and the lower Sephiroth, connecting the divine and the manifest realms. Its dual aspect embodies both creation and dissolution, beginnings and endings. This aligns with Janus' role as the guardian of thresholds.

Daath symbolizes the knowledge or "key" required to traverse the Abyss, representing an initiatory transition (crossroads) from ignorance to enlightenment, or from fragmented perception to holistic awareness. Daath, meaning "knowledge," is not academic (lifeless) intellectual understanding but, rather, the experiential awareness that opens the path to higher consciousness. Janus, as the god of thresholds, embodies the act of stepping into a new state of being, requiring the wisdom (or key) to unlock the door.

The Particle (Persephone/Kore) and The Wave (Pluto/Hades)

Janus symbolizes the interplay between Persephone (Kore) as the Particle and Pluto (Hades) as the Wave. One face of Janus represents Persephone, the embodiment of form, matter, and life cycles, aligning with the Qabalistic sphere of Malkuth (Kingdom), where the material world takes shape. The other face reflects Pluto, the archetype of chaos, transformation, and dissolution, associated with Daath (Knowledge), the mysterious gateway bridging unity (singularity) and duality (polarity).

Positioned on the Abyss, Daath represents a space where opposites converge, requiring the seeker to reconcile unity and multiplicity, form and void.

True Detective, S1E8 "Form and Void"

Yesod, as the Foundation, mirrors Daath but functions on a different plane. While Daath serves as the gateway to higher realms of divine unity, Yesod operates as the threshold to the astral plane and the physical world. It consolidates and channels energies from the higher Sephiroth, shaping them into forms accessible in Malkuth. This intermediary role parallels the function of a doorway, both separating and connecting realms. Doorways (like the crossroads) symbolize choices and transitions, and Yesod serves as the space where archetypal energies are organized and projected into the material plane.

The Lovers - also known as "The Choice"

The Lovers card encapsulates the profound moment of choice, a pivotal crossroads where one must discern the path to follow. Rooted in the energy of Zayin, "the sword," this choice is sharp and decisive, cutting through illusion to reveal truth. It reflects Gemini's duality, symbolizing both the discernment necessary to separate (Cancer) opposites and the alchemical conjunction that unifies them into a harmonious whole. This card calls one to reconcile the dichotomies within—the conscious and subconscious, masculine and feminine, inner and outer. (Alchemical fixation.) Just as a sword divides, it also symbolizes the precision and clarity needed to choose wisely, emphasizing that through discernment, unity and higher integration become possible​​.

Yesod's correspondence to the astral plane reinforces its role as a liminal space. Here, dreams, symbols, and archetypal forms interact with the waking world. This reflects the deeper duality inherent in transitions, where the unseen and seen are bridged. Like Janus' forward and backward gaze, Yesod embodies the reflective nature of thresholds, managing the interface where potential becomes actual.

Yesod can be understood through its many symbolic attributes, which include mirrors, perception, secret doors, hidden passages, tunnels, psychism, the interface between dimensions, the assemblage point, imagination, image and appearance, the unconscious, dreams, illusions, sex and reproduction, magic, and instinct. 

Dark Matter

The Qlippoth

The Qlippoth are the "husks" or "shells," representing the shadow side of creation (or Universe B). They mirror the sephiroth but invert their divine energies, embodying chaos, disintegration, and the raw power of unrefined matter. In exploring the Underworld, one must confront the Qlippothic energies—fragmented aspects of the self that hold keys to transformation when engaged with intention and awareness. The Qlippoth represent the shattered forms that must be reintegrated to move toward wholeness​​.

Update:

10:57AM CST on 1/16/2025

Shortly after publishing this post, while I was doing some cleaning, some synchronistic messages began to come through while YouTube was autoplaying various YouTube videos based on/from my subscriptions. Currently, the energetic themes that I am seeing recycling through are reminiscent of patterns noticed around July 17th, 2024, mid-to-late August of 2024, and end of October-mid December of 2024. I emphasize the October-December energy, because that's when the whole The Tower and crossroads themes really and truly began to take the stage for the latter half of the year.

The Tower...WILL fall. Backtrack🚆 all you want, but the flames of transformation are rekindling. This karmic cycle needs to come to a close, and you're at a crossroads. Drop the baggage and carry-on ✈️, move along.

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— HermaJestar (@hermajestar.com) December 10, 2024 at 1:41 PM

Clips via: Soulful Revolution and Turning Tides Tarot

🎯

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— HermaJestar (@hermajestar.com) December 11, 2024 at 12:42 PM

 

Update #2:

12:12PM CST on 1/16/2025

Shortly after publishing the first update, as I was reviewing the article on my laptop, I noticed a glitch. 

Video: Who We've Been, All Along

 

Psychic experiences can be quite ambiguous, confusing, and can stir up intense emotional responses (which can also trigger episodes of spiritual psychosis, particularly when not rightly understood, incorrectly translated, or when taken at face value)—both from those who experience them and those who encounter their effects. In my latest TikTok video, I shared an excerpt of a conversation from nearly a decade ago that I had with an online acquaintance referred to as the "Internet Stranger," whom I barely knew. This interaction, which I hadn't revisited in some time, highlighted the unintentional and sometimes startling ways psychic connections can manifest. Today, I want to expand on that video by providing additional context and reflecting on the complexity of this experience.

Background Context

In 2016, I was contacted out of the blue by a virtual acquaintance, someone I had connected with on Twitter. He accused me of causing unexplained phenomena in his home—creaking and banging noises on his ceiling—even affecting his psyche in ways he described as invasive. At the time, I was navigating my own journey of psychic discovery. I knew I had a heightened ability to tap into the collective unconscious and connect with the psyches of others, but I didn't yet fully understand the extent of this ability or its unintended consequences.

His accusations were unsettling. While I had no conscious intent to connect with him or affect his environment, his claims were specific and very clearly emotionally charged. This conversation has stayed with me for years, leaving me questioning how much influence I truly had and how my abilities might unintentionally impact others.

A Decade of Reflection

It really wasn't until recently, when I came across a series of surprising synchronicities, that I found validation for what this Internet Stranger had described. This new information confirmed that my unintentional connection to him and the strange occurrences he experienced could indeed have been a result of my abilities. Revisiting this conversation after nearly a decade has been a humbling reminder of the power and complexity of psychic phenomena—and the ethical questions that come with it.

Why I'm Sharing This Now

Sharing personal experiences, especially ones as charged as this, can be daunting. I've wrestled with the fear of being judged, misunderstood, or labeled negatively. However, especially in light of the popular release of the Telepathy Tapes, I believe that bringing these stories into the open is important—not just for my own growth but to encourage broader conversations about psychic abilities, perception, and the unseen ways in which we connect with each other and the seemingly separate environments around us.

By sharing this, I'm not looking to villainize this man (or myself, for that matter) or dismiss his feelings. In fact, his candid reaction helped me to see (and embrace) the grey area of psychic connection—where actions can have effects far beyond what we consciously intend. My goal is transparency, even if it means exploring uncomfortable truths.

The Grey Area of Psychic Connection

The Life Power is inherently neutral, neither good nor evil, a truth evident in the natural world and its subhuman kingdoms. Like fire, which can warm or destroy, this primal energy is shaped solely by the choices guiding it. For example, the wands of Harry Potter and Voldemort—crafted from the same core—channel identical magical energy, yet Harry's serves as a force for protection while Voldemort's brings destruction. This neutrality highlights that the power itself is neither benevolent nor malevolent; its impact depends entirely on how it is directed. However, when applied to psychic phenomena, this concept becomes far more complex and nuanced. Psychic connections, unlike conscious physical actions, can occur spontaneously (subconsciously) and without conscious intent, raising important ethical questions about boundaries and responsibility.  It also raises profound questions about free will, who or what is truly in control, and what the cosmic hierarchy governing such interactions might look like.

• Intent vs. Impact: While I had no intent to connect with this person, the impact on him was real and undeniable.
• Ethics of Connection: How do we navigate connections that happen outside of our control? Is it possible to set boundaries for psychic abilities, or do they operate independently of our intentions?
• Transparency and Growth: Sharing these stories allows us to explore these questions together and reflect on how to approach psychic phenomena responsibly.

The complexity of psychic phenomena deepens when we consider intention, as effects often arise without conscious effort. This blurs the lines of agency, suggesting individuals might not be sole creators but participants in a broader web of interconnected forces. In these cases, one's subconscious mind (implicate order) or energetic state may act as a bridge (super-consciousness, super implicate order), influencing outcomes (explicate order) beyond deliberate control. This interplay complicates traditional ideas of responsibility and free will, suggesting that while an individual's energy contributes to phenomena, universal forces (the One Self) ultimately shape the final outcome. This dynamic raises questions about the balance between personal influence and broader cosmic systems, including the possibility of a higher hierarchy guiding the flow of Life Power. If magickal outcomes and psychic effects transcend conscious intention, it challenges us to reconsider who or what ultimately steers (the Unmoved Mover) these manifestations and the structure of the unseen systems in which we participate.

Join the Conversation

Have you ever had a psychic experience that felt unintentional or out of your control? How do you think we should approach the grey areas of psychic connection? Share your thoughts in the comments—I'd love to hear your perspective.