Video: Trials by Fire – Part 1 of My Extreme Weight Loss and Survival Story

Welcome to storytime, where I have begun to share my real transformation story — not just about extreme weight loss but about my ongoing journey of survival and revival.

In 2012, I was carrying over 400 pounds and struggling with complex, undiagnosed medical issues. What I didn't know at the time was that I had a bowling ball-sized tumor growing inside me. It went unnoticed for far too long, leading to a medical crisis that left me with an open wound and nearly cost me my life.

After emergency surgery, I spent nine excruciating months healing from that wound. I lived with daily pain, fought off infections, and had to relearn how to exist in my body. My journey through chronic illness, weight loss, and post-surgical trauma hasn't been easy, pretty, or linear — but it all really happened.

This is Part 1 of my storytime video series, where I share what really happened behind the scenes of my weight loss journey. If you've struggled with obesity, PCOS, chronic illness, or medical trauma, I hope this inspires you to keep hanging on.

@hermajestar Part 1 of my storytime series . Sharing my journey through extreme weight loss, surviving monster tumors, living with a rare disease, facing near-death experiences, and experiencing a powerful spiritual awakening. From medical trauma to rebuilding my life, this is only the beginning. (Snapchat saw it first!) #weightlossjouney, #extremeweightloss, #healthjourney, #bodytransformation, #healingjourney, #chronicillness, #spoonie, #beforeandafter, #mentalhealthmatters, #resilience, #strongerthanyesterday, #edswarriors, #ehlersdanlossyndrome, #dysautonomia, #pots, #invisibleillness, #chronicillnesswarrior, #medicaltrauma, #spiritualawakening, #kundaliniawakening ♬ original sound - HermaJestar

Stay tuned for Part 2!

Post-Eclipse Tarot Reading: Taurus through Leo Season 2025

Note: Previous projects delayed as a result of the disruptions brought on during the eclipse window. Delayed, but not abandoned. In the meantime, here is a collective tarot spread that I've drawn for the post-eclipse energies but is also timeless. This means that whenever you encounter this post, these archetypal undercurrents are presently active in your experience.

Now that the dust has settled from April's eclipses, we stand at the threshold of a new chapter. The energy is shifting as we move from the fertile calm of Taurus season into the bright fervor of Leo season. 

As a follow-up to the eclipse-season spread, we drew five new cards for the collective to explore the next phase of the journey. Each card corresponds to a specific focus – what is leaving, what is entering, what lies ahead, what will flourish, and energetic guidance – offering insight into our path.

1. What Is Leaving – Five of Wands

The Five of Wands traditionally depicts five figures brandishing wooden staves in chaotic unison – an image of conflict, competition, and scattered energy. In the position of what is leaving, this card signals that the recent period of strife and friction is finally winding down. The eclipse season may have stirred up tension and clashing agendas (everyone with their own wand in the fight), but now that storm of discord is beginning to subside. The crackle of conflict that dominated early spring is growing quieter, its intensity fading like echoes after thunder.

For many of us, this represents an end to struggles that have been wearing us out. Perhaps there were heated debates in the workplace, competing interests in a project, or simply internal turmoil about identity and direction. Some might have felt a creative chaos – too many ideas colliding at once – or experienced conflicts in relationships as old issues were stirred up. Whatever the source of the frenzy, it's losing its grip. The collective energy is moving away from petty fights and confusion. The dust is settling from those battles, clearing the air and making space for a calmer, more focused influence to take root next.

2. What Is Entering – King of Pentacles

The King of Pentacles sits upon a carved throne adorned with grapevines and bull motifs; a golden coin held securely in his hands. In what is entering, this regal figure brings an aura of stability, abundance, and practical wisdom. After the tumult of the Five of Wands, the King's presence is like rich soil after a storm – fertile, steady, and ready to nurture new growth. His arrival suggests that the coming weeks will be about grounding and consolidating. We're entering a phase where slow and steady progress is favored, and we can finally start building on solid foundations.

Collectively, we can expect a renewed focus on the material and physical aspects of life – in the most positive sense. Careers and finances may stabilize or even prosper under this influence; projects that felt shaky before now find firm footing. Opportunities for growth in business or work could present themselves, but the King of Pentacles teaches that success will come through patience and good planning, not rush or gamble. Many of us will feel inclined to invest in long-term security: Saving money, improving our home environment, or committing to routines that support our health and well-being. There's a sense of comfort and maturity entering the picture, encouraging us to take pleasure in gradual progress.

In relationships, this earthy energy fosters loyalty, support, and the strengthening of trust. It's a time when love can grow slowly and surely – partners showing up for each other in tangible ways, building a sense of safety together. Creative endeavors, too, benefit from this practical grounding. The wild ideas sparked earlier (those Five of Wands brainstorms) can now be turned into something real – think of finally completing that passion project or turning a hobby into a small business. Overall, what is entering is a calmer, more secure chapter of our lives. We are encouraged to enjoy life's simple pleasures (good food, warm sunlight, meaningful connections) and to remember that tending patiently to what we value most will naturally attract prosperity. This stable foundation will give us the confidence to take the next leap when the time comes.

3. What Lies Ahead – The Fool

Bright sunlight bathes the path ahead as The Fool steps forward with a white rose in hand and a small pack slung over his shoulder. In the what lies ahead position, The Fool heralds a new adventure and a leap of faith on the collective horizon. This card's appearance suggests that as we move from late spring into summer, we'll find ourselves standing at the edge of something unknown, feeling both excited and a bit vulnerable – much like the Fool gazing up at the wide-open sky. The Fool is numbered 0, the number of infinite potential, and indeed what lies ahead is a chapter brimming with possibility. There's a fresh breeze to this energy, a sense that anything can happen and we are ready to explore it.

For the collective, this indicates a period where fresh experiences abound and our spirits lighten. Having established some stability, many of us might feel the urge to branch out beyond familiar territory. This could manifest as a daring career move — perhaps stepping into a role we've never tried before or launching a project that calls to our soul. It might also mean opening our hearts in love or friendship, embracing someone or something that we never expected. There's a feeling of "finally, I can do this!" that comes after the practical groundwork of the previous phase. The Fool's energy encourages us to embrace spontaneity and trust: If an opportunity or idea gives you butterflies (the good kind), that may be exactly what lies ahead for you.

As the summer sun climbs higher, a playful, adventurous spirit is on the rise. The Fool invites us to rediscover our inner child – to be curious, take creative risks, and view the world with wonder. You might find yourself saying "yes" more often now: Yes to that impromptu road trip, yes to collaborating with new people, yes to learning a quirky new skill or diving into a creative hobby just for the joy of it. This is an excellent time for experimentation and exploration. Even if the future isn't fully mapped out (and it rarely is), The Fool reassures us that we are ready. The important thing is to approach what comes with optimism and an open heart. Ahead of us stretches a road that no one has ever walked in exactly the same way – and we get to courageously create that story as we go.

4. What Will Flourish – Six of Swords

In most depictions of the Six of Swords, a small boat carries a family across dim, glassy waters. The figures huddle quietly, leaving a rough and barren shore behind them as the ferryman guides them toward a land of gentler hills. In what will flourish, this poignant scene tells us that transitions and healing will thrive in the coming months. After taking that leap of faith with The Fool, the Six of Swords reassures us that our courageous moves won't be in vain – we truly will be moving on from past troubles and heading toward calmer times. This is a card of hopeful journeys. It suggests that our collective efforts to find peace and resolution will gain momentum and bear fruit as the season progresses.

In practical terms, this means that many of us will successfully put old struggles to rest. Emotional wounds from earlier in the year begin to mend as we find closure, forgiveness, or simply a new perspective. If you've felt stuck – be it in a thankless job, a toxic relationship, or a cycle of negative thinking – the Six of Swords indicates you'll finally have the strength and opportunity to move forward. Some may literally change their surroundings for the better: Relocating to a place that feels more like home, transitioning to a career that offers a healthier environment, or seeking out a community that supports you. Even if these changes involve leaving certain comforts or saying goodbye to a chapter of your life, know that they are guided by the promise of a more peaceful horizon ahead.

Creative and intellectual growth will also flourish under this energy of passage. Any lingering creative blocks or conflicts (remember that Five of Wands turmoil) are likely to ease as you distance yourself from sources of stress. With a clearer mind and heart, inspiration can flow more freely again. By mid-summer, we'll notice life smoothing out in many ways – as if the collective waters are calming. This flourishing isn't a sudden stroke of luck, but a gradual, earned relief. Day by day, as we travel further from the difficulties of the past, we regain confidence and optimism. The Six of Swords shows that our journey toward healing and stability is well underway, and that progress will continue to strengthen. It's the green shoots of recovery and forward movement, growing taller with each passing week in the summer sun.

5. Energetic Guidance – The Devil

In The Devil card, a horned figure typically looms above two people who appear chained to a block – a dramatic image, but one that carries an important lesson for us in the energetic guidance position. The Devil's presence here isn't a bad omen; rather, it comes as a wise warning and piece of advice. As we approach the peak of summer (under Leo's blazing sun), this card urges us to be mindful of our shadows – the fears, temptations, or old habits that could subtly undermine all the growth we've achieved. In the context of guidance, The Devil says: "Examine what might still be holding you captive, even as everything else moves forward."

After so much positive progress, we're reminded not to let our old demons sneak in through the back door. This is a call for honest self-reflection. Are there any lingering toxic patterns or attachments that you know you need to break? For some, it might be a tendency to overwork or a fixation on material success (the very chains that could turn the King of Pentacles' gift of prosperity into a burden of workaholism). For others, it could be a codependent relationship or the echo of self-doubt that arises just as you're about to step into that Fool's new opportunity. The Devil highlights these hidden challenges and asks us to name them. By bringing them to light, we start to loosen their hold. Remember, on the Rider–Waite card, the chains around the people's necks are loose (the noose, like the juice, is loose) – they can free themselves at any time. This is a message that we too have the power to free ourselves once we acknowledge what's binding us.

In essence, the Devil card's guidance is about empowerment through facing the shadow. We're encouraged to break free from entanglements that no longer serve our growth. This could mean finally setting a boundary with someone who drains your energy, practicing moderation where there's been excess, or releasing guilt and fear that don't belong in your new chapter. It's not about fighting ourselves or feeling ashamed of our doubts – it's about compassionately recognizing that we're human, and we carry some baggage.

The gift of the Devil appearing now is the chance to address these issues head-on. By doing so, we prevent them from tripping us up as we continue our journey. Confronting your inner shadows might feel uncomfortable at first, but it ultimately restores your freedom. It ensures that as you move through the height of summer, you're not weighed down by anything that could dim your light.

A Two-Part Journey Through Eclipse Season and Beyond

Looking at both spreads as one long arc — the eclipse season reading and the post-eclipse (spring into summer) fallout — the overall message is about a massive collective reset that begins with collapse and ends with liberation. The eclipse spread signaled a period of unavoidable upheaval and powerful transitions: The Tower set the tone, showing us that foundations built on illusion were being torn down. But even then, the presence of the Six of Swords offered early assurance that this chaos would eventually steer us toward a better place. That spread was about recognizing what must be surrendered (The Hanged Man), trusting our inner worth as we leap into something new (The Fool + Nine of Pentacles), and ultimately having the courage to walk away from what drains us so we can walk into the light of The Sun. It was a reading of rupture and reorientation — a call to make peace with endings so that truer beginnings could take form.

Now, the post-eclipse reading confirms that this wasn't just a flash in the pan — it was the start of a long-range transformation that is continuing to play out. The Five of Wands leaving shows that the inner and outer conflict stirred up by the eclipses is calming, making way for the King of Pentacles: groundedness, self-trust, real-world stability. The Fool reappears, not as a sudden jolt like before, but now in the central "what lies ahead" position — showing that the leap is actually happening. And what flourishes now is the Six of Swords again — echoing the previous reading's clarifier — telling us we are making that crossing, we are leaving the wreckage behind. The energetic guidance from The Devil reminds us that while we've made progress, we must stay vigilant not to slip back into patterns that once held us hostage.

The eclipses cracked the shell. Now comes the journey of growing into the self that was hidden inside it. The story is one of emergence — from confusion into clarity, from being stuck to stepping forward. What began as destruction becomes construction. What felt like loss is revealed as a clearing for new life. The message over both spreads is: The worst has passed — if you keep walking, keep trusting, keep letting go of what binds you, the summer ahead holds real freedom, joy, and creative rebirth. 

Eclipse Energy Tarot Reading

Note: As of March 11th, I have been working hard on the draft for Part Three of The Observer Effect. While writing the article, I experienced some pretty significant synchroncities that I documented over on Bluesky and will chronicle them in the post itself. In the meantime, here is a collective tarot spread that I've drawn for the eclipse but is also timeless. This means that whenever you encounter this post, these archetypal undercurrents are presently active in your experience.

Spread Overview: The cards drawn for this eclipse season are The Tower (clarified by the Six of Swords), The Hanged Man (clarified by the Three of Cups), The Fool (clarified by the Nine of Pentacles), and The Sun (clarified by the Eight of Cups). This powerful combination highlights themes of upheaval and transformation, periods of sacrifice for a new perspective, healing journeys, bold new beginnings, achieving success, and letting go of what no longer serves. Below, we'll interpret each pair in depth and identify which life areas they may pertain to (career, relationships, personal growth, etc.), along with real-world scenarios of how these energies might manifest during the eclipse season (or in the next couple of weeks). Eclipse seasons often accelerate life changes and revelations, and this reading provides guidance on navigating those transitions.

1. The Tower (Clarified by the Six of Swords): Radical Change and Healing Transitions

The Six of Swords depicts a quiet journey by boat away from rough waters, symbolizing moving on to a calmer, safer place. This image complements The Tower's chaos by highlighting the healing transition that follows upheaval.

The Tower is a card of sudden radical change – a bolt of lightning toppling the old tower. It represents upheaval that shakes your foundations and forces a transformation. During the eclipse season (or in the next few weeks), this could indicate a shocking event or breakdown of a situation in your life that is no longer stable or authentic. The Tower's influence, though jarring, comes with a "wake-up call" energy that clears the way for new growth. The Six of Swords as a clarifier shows the path forward after the storm – it speaks to healing, transition, and moving away from chaos toward calmer waters. Together, these cards suggest that a sudden shake-up will ultimately push you to leave behind what's not working and head toward a better situation. This combination may highlight major life areas like your career, home, or a relationship – wherever a drastic change is needed for your growth.

In real-world terms, The Tower and Six of Swords could manifest in several ways. You might experience or initiate a significant upheaval followed by a necessary departure or change. For example: 

• Ending a toxic relationship/friendship or sudden break-up, which, while painful, propels you to move on and heal in a healthier environment.
• Losing or quitting a job unexpectedly, prompting you to transition to a new career path or location that ultimately brings you greater peace.
• A sudden disruption to your living situation (even an eviction or abrupt move) that leads you to relocate and find a more supportive home base.
• A health or personal crisis that forces you to change your lifestyle and leave behind destructive habits, steering you toward recovery and stability.

Such events can be challenging, but the Tower card reminds you that this shake-up is necessary to tear down false foundations. The Six of Swords assures that healing and relief will follow as you courageously journey away from the turmoil. In essence, embrace the upheaval as a chance to rebuild on solid ground – the eclipse season may be clearing the way for a more authentic life chapter. Remember that this difficult transition is ultimately an opportunity for growth and renewal, even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

2. The Hanged Man (Clarified by the Three of Cups): Sacrifice, Perspective, and the Support of Community

The Three of Cups shows three friends joyfully raising their cups in celebration. It represents friendship, community, and emotional support – a reminder that even during a Hanged Man’' pause, there is love and camaraderie to be found.

The Hanged Man indicates a time of pause, sacrifice, or suspension. You may feel "on hold" or compelled to surrender control in some aspect of life. This card often asks for a shift in perspective – letting go of old beliefs or ego-driven goals in order to see the situation in a new light. The Three of Cups, as clarifier, brings in the energy of social connection, friendship, and celebration. It suggests that through this period of sacrifice or waiting, you either receive support from your community or eventually have cause to celebrate once the sacrifice pays off.

"All work (discipline) and no play (pleasure) makes Jack a dull boy."

Together, these cards highlight the importance of letting go and trusting enough to lean on others. The focus might be on the realm of relationships and personal life – perhaps you've been holding yourself apart or pushing too hard alone, and now it's time to reconnect with loved ones. The combination indicates that by relinquishing some control (micromanagement, hyper-independence in some area of life, resisting the need to delegate) or delaying immediate action (Hanged Man), you make space for joyful interactions and support (Three of Cups) to enter. In other words, "pause and join the party" – there may be healing or insight that comes from community and friendship at this time.

Real-world scenarios for The Hanged Man clarified by the Three of Cups can include situations where you must sacrifice or shift your perspective in order to nurture your relationships or celebrate the moment:

• Putting a personal goal on hold to support a friend or family event: For example, you might delay a work project or decision so you can be fully present at a loved one’s wedding, reunion, or celebration. This teaches you the value of being in the moment with others instead of always pressing forward.
• Releasing control in a relationship: If you've been insistent on things going your way, you may choose to surrender that need for control to harmonize with your partner or friends. By seeing things from their point of view (Hanged Man's new perspective), you invite deeper connection and maybe even a cause to celebrate mutual understanding.
• Leaning on your support network during a slow or uncertain period: You might feel "stuck" in career or personal growth, but instead of fighting it, you use the time to bond with friends, join social gatherings, or seek encouragement from your circle. The Three of Cups energy suggests that engaging with community can lift your spirits and even spark new insights while you're in limbo.

The guidance here is to embrace patience, transition, detours, and selflessness. The Hanged Man teaches that sometimes the only way forward is to stop resisting and instead sacrifice our usual approach. By doing so, you open yourself to empathy, camaraderie, and perhaps celebratory breakthroughs (as symbolized by those friends toasting together). During the eclipse season, if you find plans stalling or you're forced to wait, use that interval to foster your relationships and gain a fresh outlook. Ultimately, this shift will prove enlightening – you may end up with stronger bonds and a wiser understanding of your situation once things resume motion.

3. The Fool (Clarified by the Nine of Pentacles): New Beginnings Founded on Independence and Self-Worth

The Fool card portrays a free-spirited traveler stepping off a cliff with trust and optimism. This image embodies taking a leap of faith into a new beginning. It encourages embracing the unknown without fear.

The Fool signifies a bold new beginning – the start of a journey where you venture forth with innocence, optimism, and courage. It’s about taking a leap of faith into uncharted territory. Paired with the Nine of Pentacles as a clarifier, we see that this new beginning is closely tied to themes of independence, self-sufficiency, and reward. The Nine of Pentacles represents enjoying the fruits of your labor, personal success, financial stability, and confidence in one's own resources.

In combination, The Fool and Nine of Pentacles suggest venturing out on your own terms and trusting your ability to prosper. This could very well point to the area of career or personal development. You may be ready to start a new job, project, or lifestyle that offers more freedom and aligns with your sense of self-worth. It indicates that you have grown in confidence and skill (Nine of Pentacles), and now the eclipse energy is pushing you to embrace a fresh opportunity or path (The Fool) – even if it feels like a risk. The message is strongly positive: this is a time when you can combine faith in the universe with the independence you've earned through past efforts. It's an auspicious sign of personal growth and possibly financial uplift as well.

Possible manifestations of The Fool clarified by the Nine of Pentacles in real life include scenarios where you step into a new chapter, empowered by what you’ve already achieved:

• Career leap or business venture: You might decide to leave a secure job to start your own business or switch to a career you're passionate about. The Fool's courage and Nine of Pentacles' assurance of competence suggest you’re ready to succeed on your own. For instance, perhaps you've saved up money and now feel free to launch that startup or go freelance, trusting that this new endeavor will prosper.
• Greater independence in personal life: This could be moving out on your own, buying your first home, or otherwise standing on your own two feet. Maybe you choose to remain single for a time to enjoy and develop yourself (the Nine of Pentacles often represents a person content in solo independence) while exploring new horizons (The Fool). There is joy in your own company and confidence that you can flourish by yourself.
• Embarking on an educational or self-improvement journey: You might take a leap by enrolling in a program or traveling abroad to enrich yourself. It's something that expands your horizons (Fool) and is a reward to yourself for your hard work (perhaps you finally have the means or time, per the Nine of Pentacles). This path promises personal fulfillment and future abundance.

The key theme here is new beginnings fueled by self-reliance and trust. You are encouraged to take calculated risks and follow your heart's calling, knowing you have a strong foundation beneath you. Eclipse season might bring a chance to start afresh – seize it with the Fool's enthusiasm. The Nine of Pentacles reassures you that you already have the talent, wisdom, or resources needed to succeed. This is a period of self-discovery and empowerment, where stepping into the unknown will likely lead to even greater material and personal rewards.

4. The Sun (Clarified by the Eight of Cups): Success Through Courageous Release of the Past

The Sun card shines with a child riding a white horse under the radiant sun – an image of pure joy, clarity, and success. It promises that positivity and truth will illuminate your path once you have the courage to step into the light.

The Sun is one of the most auspicious cards in Tarot, symbolizing success, joy, optimism, and enlightenment. It suggests that you are on the right path and that a period of happiness and clarity is arriving. Paired with the Eight of Cups as clarifier, there is a clear message: achieving this joy often requires letting go and moving on from something that no longer fulfills you or is keeping you emotionally stuck in the past. The Eight of Cups depicts walking away from a set of standing cups – leaving behind an old situation, relationship, or mindset in search of deeper satisfaction and purpose.

In this eclipse season context, The Sun clarified by Eight of Cups indicates a breakthrough to positivity once you willingly depart from the old. It highlights the theme of release: you may realize that an aspect of your life isn't serving your higher good – and by bravely turning your back on it, you invite in success and joy. The life area could be emotional or spiritual (Cups often relate to relationships, creativity, emotions, sexuality, or personal fulfillment). Perhaps it's leaving an unfulfilling job, ending a stagnant relationship, or shedding a long-held belief or habit. Whatever it is, the Sun promises that this decision will lead to a happier, more vibrant chapter. In essence, if you have the courage to walk away from the shadow, you'll walk into the sunlight.

Here are some real-world scenarios for The Sun and Eight of Cups combination, demonstrating how letting go leads to positive outcomes:

• Career change in pursuit of joy: Imagine you have a stable job that drains you. You decide to resign (8 of Cups) and possibly take a chance on a role or project you're passionate about. This brave move can lead to a much more rewarding and successful career aligned with your true purpose – your "sunshine." The cards validate that moving on from unfulfilling work opens the door to happiness and accomplishment in your professional life.
• Walking away from an unhealthy relationship or friendship: If a relationship has run its course or is holding you back, the Eight of Cups encourages you to leave it behind, even if it's hard. The Sun suggests that by doing so, you reclaim your personal joy and vitality. You might soon find yourself feeling freer, more confident, and open to healthier relationships that uplift you. This combination is a strong indicator that true happiness awaits once you let go of the past.
• Personal growth and lifestyle changes: You may identify a habit, environment, or even a mindset that you've outgrown (for example, a toxic social scene, an addiction, or a negative self-image). The eclipse energy could bring the resolve to leave that behind. As you do, you'll experience a breakthrough – a period of optimism, improved health, and success in your personal growth (symbolized by The Sun's radiant energy). It's like stepping out of a dim room into daylight, gaining clarity and self-assurance that you didn't have before.

The Sun and Eight of Cups together carry a message of courageous optimism: have faith that walking away from what's comfortable but stagnant is the right move. The Sun assures a positive outcome – often a new beginning that aligns with your higher self and brings you joy. During the eclipse season, you might feel a strong pull to purge something from your life. Trust that intuition. Just as the sun rises after the darkest night, your willingness to release the old will herald a dawn of success, enlightenment, and emotional fulfillment.

Navigating the Eclipse Season Transitions: Key Takeaways

Eclipse seasons are notorious for catalyzing change, and this spread certainly reflects that. Across these four card combinations, a story emerges: you are being called to transform and break down the old (Tower), to surrender and see differently (Hanged Man), to bravely step forward on a new path (Fool), and to embrace positivity by leaving the past behind (Sun). Multiple aspects of life are touched here – from career and material security, to relationships and inner growth. It's possible that you'll experience shifts on several fronts, or that one primary area of focus (the cards seem to hint at career/independence and relationships/emotional life in particular) will undergo profound changes that ripple out to other areas. Here are some guiding points to help you navigate these transitions successfully:

• Embrace Upheaval as Transformation: When sudden changes strike (as indicated by The Tower), remind yourself that these are necessary disruptions meant to clear a path for something new. It might feel chaotic, but try not to resist. Instead, ask: What old structure or belief is this freeing me from? The more you accept the change, the sooner you can move forward toward healing.
• Surrender Control and Gain Perspective: If you find yourself in limbo or faced with a sacrifice (Hanged Man), lean into it. Let go of the need to have all the answers right now. Use this pause to reflect and maybe to reach out to friends or loved ones (Three of Cups) for support. Oftentimes, a fresh perspective or an unexpected solution will emerge from this period of suspension (see: Hermetic Principle of Rhythm).
• Take a Bold Step into the New: Don't be afraid to start anew (The Fool). This season might open a door for you – a new job opportunity, a creative project, a lifestyle change – and you're encouraged to go for it. Trust in your skills and worth (Nine of Pentacles) as you do. Calculated risks taken now are likely to pay off, leading to greater independence and reward.
• Release What No Longer Serves: Perhaps most importantly, be willing to walk away from situations that your intuition tells you have fulfilled their purpose (Eight of Cups). Endings can be bittersweet, but The Sun promises that what comes next is brighter. By shedding the old skin, you create space for joy, success, and alignment with your true self. Think of it as making room for the sunlight to come in.

Throughout this process, remember that eclipse energy, though intense, ultimately accelerates your growth. It may feel like the universe is fast-tracking changes in your life over the coming weeks. Some challenges are likely (the Tower and Hanged Man moments), but so are brilliant outcomes (The Sun's triumph). The presence of supportive cards like Six of Swords and Three of Cups indicates you are not alone in these changes – seek out allies, mentors, friends, or family when you need them. Healing and help are available as you transition to the next chapter.

Finally, keep the big picture in mind: this reading began with disruption and ends in joy. It suggests a transformative journey through turmoil into clarity. If you navigate with an open mind and heart – releasing fear, accepting help, and trusting your path – you will emerge from this eclipse season renewed, with the darkness behind you and a sunnier horizon ahead. Good luck, and embrace the ride of transformation!

Goblin Self

The "Goblin Self" is a term that intuitively captures a particular mode of archetypal energy—one that disrupts, confounds, and ultimately refines. It is the mischievous, shadow-cloaked aspect of the Higher Self, the Daemon in its trickster manifestation. Unlike the guiding voice of serene wisdom often attributed to the Holy Guardian Angel, the Goblin Self takes a more chaotic approach to initiation, embodying a playful yet ruthless wisdom. It tricks, teases, and misdirects—not to lead astray, but to force a confrontation with one's own illusions. Like a tricky leprechaun or the Goblin King in Labyrinth, it seduces with riddles and temptations, leading seekers through a maze of their own projections until they recognize that the real power has always resided within.

Text passage via Sepher Sapphires

The Goblin Self resonates with the liminal energies of the Mauve Zone, that surreal borderland where consciousness dissolves into alien transmissions and dreamlike initiatory states. This is the territory of the Daemon as an unpredictable, alien intelligence—a force that often unsettles and destabilizes. The Goblin Self, in this sense, serves as an emissary of the Outer Gateways, those interstitial spaces between waking and dreaming, Self and Other. The Goblin Self upends expectations, forcing the magician into initiatory crises that reveal hidden layers of reality. Like the darkly radiant intelligences of the Nightside, it tempts with glamour only to strip away delusions in a way that no gentle illumination could.

The Outer Gateways are entry points between everyday reality and the hidden side of consciousness, where strange forces, mysterious beings, and deep transformations challenge ordinary perception.

Lost Records: Bloom and Rage

The concept of the Daemon (daimon) is multifaceted. The Agathodaimon represents a guiding force toward higher wisdom, while the Kakodaimon embodies chaos and misdirection—both aspects ultimately serving the same initiatory purpose. Choronzon, the chaotic demon of the Abyss, plays a similar role. Choronzon is not a mere adversary but the principle of dissolution, the force that breaks down egoic constructs (Death, The Tower) before reintegration can occur. He is the whispering trickster at the threshold, the shadow side of the Holy Guardian Angel, tempting with illusions of power and identity. This aligns with Daath, the sephira that is naught, which acts as a portal into the Qliphoth, the realm of husks and shadows. Daath is both the abyss and the key to transcending it—where knowledge must be surrendered for wisdom to emerge. The Goblin Self plays in this same space, pulling strings from the unseen, orchestrating tangible and intangible 'events', unsettling the mind's attachments, and forcing the surrender necessary for transformation.

Daath and Yesod share an intricate relationship in this framework. Yesod, the foundation, is the gateway of the subconscious, the dream realm where archetypes take form. It is the astral plane of illusions and raw psychic material, where one can become trapped in fantasies or use them as stepping stones to deeper wisdom. Daath, on the other hand, is the hidden knowledge that stands at the abyss, a transitional point where intellect can no longer sustain itself and something deeper must take over. It is the throat of the Tree of Life, the gate where dissolution begins.

Choronzon and the Tree of Life illustrate how this force challenges those who seek deeper knowledge, forcing them to relinquish their attachments. In a sense, Yesod is the reflection of the unconscious mind, while Daath is the trapdoor that, when opened, can lead to initiatory madness and/or transcendence. To engage with the Goblin Self is to navigate this tricky terrain, to court chaos with the understanding that only through disorientation can one reorient toward true gnosis.

Lost Records: Bloom and Rage

"Every hurt is a lesson, and every lesson makes you better." - George RR Martin, A Game of Thrones

Thus, to embrace the Goblin Self is to enter the initiatory maze, where every trick conceals a lesson and every apparent setback is an occulted gift. This is the Daemon in play, the sacred mischief that reshapes reality not by brute force, but through the alchemy of paradox and manipulation. It is the whisper in dreams, the uncanny coincidence, the symbolic pattern that appears just as one is about to stray too far from their path. Choronzon meditation techniques can reveal these hidden layers of self, stripping away illusions through guided exploration of the Abyss. To follow the Goblin Self is not to a-void suffering, but to dance with it—to learn through jest, to be dismantled in riddles, to be led astray so profoundly that one can never again mistake illusion for truth. And therein lies its gift: The revelation that the labyrinth, the mask, was always of one's own making, and that the way out is through the very trickery one sought to escape.

Lost Records: Bloom and Rage

@hermajestar "Alchemy: Ghost Signal" is a surreal odyssey through a molten prismatic black rainbow sea, where the boundaries of form and essence dissolve into the great unknown. This is the dance of Nigredo, Albedo, Rubedo, and Cauda Pavonis—a transmutation of the Prima Materia into the Azoth, the universal solvent. The liquid void reflects the cycles of destruction and rebirth, as the Phoenix rises and falls within the abyss, merging with the Prima-Ultima Materia. Here, the Absolute whispers through the tides of Akasha, the breath of Ain, Ain Soph, and the formless Ether. #aigenerated #aimusicvideo #aimusic #alchemy #esoteric #occult #kundalini #spiritualawakening #consciousness #magnumopus #greatwork #philosophersstone #qabalah #binah ♬ original sound - HermaJestar

Personal: Panties For Sale

I've been spending this past week channeling and recharging my creative spoons. I have a lot going on the first half of this month but will be posting as much as I can. 

The curious synchronicity I am going to briefly document in this post is reminiscent of the series of synchronicities that went on during my Mindy Kaling kick. Interestingly, last weekend, I saw Captain America: Brave New World starring Anthony Mackie and Xosha Roquemore. I will explain why this is relevant and how this all connects here in a minute.

You just can't make this shit up...My jaw dropped! I decided to watch this movie because I've been on a Mindy Kaling kick lately, and this is literally the scene she is introduced in:

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— HermaJestar (@hermajestar.com) December 15, 2024 at 6:10 PM

This scene is from the movie The Night Before, starring Anthony Mackie and Mindy Kaling. Mindy and Xosha frequently work together. In one of Mindy's latest projects (hehe, see what I did there?), the Sex Lives of College Girls, Xosha makes a series of cameos as one of the professors.

Worth noting should there be further developments (there will be, I just know that there will be).

But the funny synchronicity I want to chronicle today involves the show Younger. I watched an episode the other day where Liza (main character) is strapped for cash and needs to pay for her daughter's college tuition. Desperate, she turns to her younger, tech-savvy friends for help. They suggest that she sells her panties online. One of the friends sets Liza up on her website where she is selling her own panties.

This episode reminded me that I have been meaning to order some new panties, so I purchased a few pairs online. Less than an hour after placing my order, a friend calls me. She needs my help. She's financially desperate and wants to start selling her panties online! She wants me to help her set up her online shop, which I have agreed to assist her with (Sorry, I won't be linking or advertising her panties for sale on this blog, nor will I be selling any of my own panties). Times are especially tough right now. Gotta make those ends meet any which way you can! I am all for it.

Exciting News: Free Three-Card Tarot Readings Now Available!

After much more time and effort than expected, I'm thrilled to announce that my latest project, Oracle.JesTarot.com, is finally live! This free three-card tarot reading tool allows you to receive instant, insightful guidance anytime you need it. Whether you're seeking clarity on love, career, or personal growth, this new resource provides a quick and easy way to connect with the wisdom of the tarot.

Building this site took longer than anticipated, but now that it's up and running, I can refocus on creating fresh content for the blog before diving into my next big endeavor. This is just the beginning—more divination tools and esoteric resources are already in the works, so stay tuned!

If you're looking for a free online tarot reading, I invite you to try out the site today and see what the cards reveal for you. Be sure to bookmark the page so that you can return for your daily draw. And as always, I'll continue sharing tarot insights, interpretations, and related guidance here on the blog.

Let me know what you think of the new tarot reading tool—your feedback will help shape the future of even more divinatory tools!

Video: Ariadne's Air Traffic Controllers

 Stills from Ariadne's Air Traffic Controllers - photo of two of my classmates with Danny Glover:

Keifer Sutherland in opening credits of Touch pilot episode - his character works at the JFK airport:

"The whole cosmic wheel of humanity comes down to just electromagnetic energy and connections. There are those among us–mostly kids–whose sole purpose is to act as air traffic controllers for that interconnectivity." - Arthur Teller (played by Danny Glover)

 "My son doesn't even talk." - Martin Bohm (played by Keifer Sutherland)

"Unnecessary, outdated. An evolutionary speed bump. Like your pinky toe." - Arthur

🤫 ⚡️ 🗝🗽🐍 @neotenic.bsky.social @furgboots.bsky.social

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— HermaJestar (@hermajestar.com) January 9, 2025 at 3:04 PM

In a world where meaning is shared instantaneously, through emotion, intuition, and full-spectrum perception, the need for words diminishes. Much like the Heptapods in the movie Arrival, whose circular writing encapsulates entire concepts at once, or dolphins, who exchange entire experiential states via holographic packets of information conveyed through sound and movement, future communication may move toward a form of immediate knowing (claircognizance and clairsentience—transmissions of gnosis)—where entire narratives, insights, and sensations arrive fully integrated into consciousness. This would dissolve the linearity of dialogue, replacing it with immersive, multidimensional understanding.

Language, once central to human interaction, may become vestigial, preserved for ritual, nostalgia, or creative expression but no longer the primary means of connection. As interconnectivity deepens and awareness expands beyond the limitations of words, humanity could shift toward a more fluid, universal mode of exchange—one where knowledge and emotion merge into a shared field of resonance, and understanding is no longer sought but simply received.

"All esoteric teachings given out as formulated thoughts and ideas that can be written down in books, form part of the great illusion. The time will come when humanity will operate free of the mind and the process of direct transmission through the cosmic etheric body will be registered as an ordinary part of human experience. That time is not yet. Telepathy is developing, but telepathy employs the mind. The type of transmission I am speaking of is more in the form of 'communion by fire.' The fire is the essence that clothes itself on the mental plane in ideas and thoughts." - Bruce Lyon

On December 11th, 2024, I posted this video to TikTok:

@hermajestar Ariadne's Air Traffic Controllers #UnityConsciousness #cosmicconsciousness #kundaliniawakening #thetower #esoteric #occult #occultok #spiritualawakening #gnosis #qabalah #tarot #spiritualtiktok #agathaallalong #hecate #222 #fibonaccisequence #fibonacci #dannyglover #slidingdoors #quantumleap #mandelaeffect #multiverse #timetravel #psychic #psychicabilities #sacredgeometry ♬ original sound - HermaJestar

This video is just one part in a series of interconnected videos, which I've compiled and shared here.

Surge of Unusual Air Traffic Incidents Making Headlines

December 11, 2024: I posted Ariadne's Air Traffic Controllers to TikTok. At that time, everyone was fixating on what was going on with the drones/UAPs situation ("Dior Bags"). I feel like this is important to note, as I do suspect that there is a connection.

Screenshot of timestamped Bluesky post, which I shared a few days after posting the video to TikTok:

January 20, 2025: Trump implemented a federal hiring freeze, initially including air traffic controllers but later exempting them.

FAA Administrator Michael Whitaker resigns, reportedly under pressure from Elon Musk after the FAA fined SpaceX.

January 21, 2025: The Trump administration disbands the Aviation Safety Advisory Committee, which was responsible for advising on aviation safety matters.

January 29, 2025: An American Airlines regional jet collided midair with a U.S. Army Black Hawk helicopter near Washington, D.C., resulting in the deaths of all 67 individuals on both aircraft.

January 31, 2025: The FAA restricted helicopter traffic near Reagan National Airport following the crash.

February 1, 2025: The NTSB launched an investigation into air traffic controller staffing levels.

February 1, 2025: A medical transport jet crashed in Northeast Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, killing seven people and injuring 24 others.

February 5, 2025: At Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, a Japan Airlines aircraft collided with the tail of a Delta Airlines plane during taxiing. No injuries were reported, but both planes sustained significant damage.

February 6, 2025: A Bering Air Cessna Caravan carrying 10 people went missing over the Bering Sea in Alaska. Search and rescue operations are ongoing.

US military surveillance flight crashes in the Philippines, killing at least 4 people.

February 7, 2025: Small plane crashes into bus and busy road in Sao Paulo, Brazil. At least two people were killed.

As I am compiling images and videos for this post, I see this pop into my feed from my subscriptions (I will be watching this video):

A few of the top comments stood out to me, for obvious reasons if you have been watching the videos I have been putting together and sharing on TikTok in the last few months (may make a Part Two post covering this with an additional video compilation that I had already been planning):

"Saturn, the ruler, is Set, the ass-headed god of the Egyptian deserts; he is the god of the south. The name refers to all gods containing these consonants, such as Shaitan, or Satan."​ - Aleister Crowley

The Desert of Set is a liminal non-space of chaos, isolation, and transformation. It is the barren wasteland outside the ordered cosmos, where the god Set, as Saturn, presides over the threshold between existence and the abyss. In Thelemic and Typhonian traditions, Set is the initiator who stands at the gateway of Daath, the "false" or hidden Sephira on the Tree of Life, which represents the void of knowledge and the bridge to the Qlippoth, or the Tunnels of Set. Saturn, as the planetary ruler of Daath, governs limitation, destruction, and initiation—the necessary dissolution of ego before higher wisdom can be attained.

MCU

The Desert of Set serves as the threshold to the Tunnels of Set, which are the hidden, subconscious pathways beneath the Tree of Life, corresponding to the Qlippoth. If the Desert of Set is the barren wasteland of chaos and initiation, then the Tunnels of Set are the secret, subterranean routes that lead one deeper into the underbelly of the unconscious mind. These tunnels function much like a subway system, running beneath the structured "city" of the Sephiroth (the ordered universe of conventional existence). Just as a subway allows passage between locations unseen from the surface, the Tunnels of Set provide access to deeper, hidden layers of reality, bypassing conventional spiritual progression and instead navigating the shadow realms of consciousness. Each tunnel, governed by a specific Qlippothic force, acts like a station where different aspects of hidden knowledge, primal energies, and forbidden wisdom can be encountered and integrated. Just as traversing a subway requires understanding routes, connections, and destinations, navigating the Tunnels of Set requires an adept's mastery over subconscious forces, lest they become lost in the labyrinth of their own psyche.

Update:
(at 6:04pm CST on 2/7/2025)

Currently watching that video that popped into my recommendation earlier, and I'm making some connections:

I posted this on Bluesky a few days ago, and I made that "civil war" remark based on thematic observations I'd made in late 2023 and early 2024:

They'd better tread carefully, lest they spawn & spring an army of unhinged Luigi Mangione's upon themselves. Maybe that's what they're banking on (all of the "civil war" programming they've been feeding the masses hasn't escape notice). Still, it'll backfire if they're all 😵

— HermaJestar (@hermajestar.com) February 5, 2025 at 9:21 AM

That comment was specifically in reference to this:

I embedded this Bluesky post in the original blog post (peep the emojis):

Now take note of the post that was attached to that same thread:

👁 "Shock Value"

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— HermaJestar (@hermajestar.com) January 9, 2025 at 2:53 PM