It's been a fucking rough ride this past week, hasn't it? If you haven't been trudging through the muck this past week, you'd better be checking that pulse of yours (or you'd better brace yourself, because it's coming). The psychic shitstorm we've been individually and collectively facing has not been for the faint of heart. (All signs point to Pluto.)
I have personally been grappling with some health issues over this past week that has deeply impacted me on every level. It's been pretty ugly, if I'm being honest. And that's exactly the point: To not just be authentic in our expressions and dealings with others, but to be (BRUTALLY) real with ourselves. Has me rethinking everything. Questioning everything I'm trying to do here. What am I trying to do here?
Starting something new and building momentum is daunting, especially when you’re creating content and sharing it on fresh accounts. The rules are clear—consistency is non-negotiable if you hope for the algorithm’s nod of approval, just enough to push your work out to a wider audience. It’s an unspoken agreement: you show up, and maybe, just maybe, the algorithm will meet you halfway. That was why I set a dedicated posting schedule for YouTube. I planned, committed, and aimed to show up for myself and my audience. But as it turned out, the universe had different plans.
What I hadn’t anticipated was how forcing myself into a rigid framework could feel so misaligned. My authenticity isn't something I can compromise, even in the name of progress or visibility. Chasing clout, pushing content just for the sake of being seen—it goes against every intuitive fiber in me. I can’t force myself to create when my being cries out for rest, to purge what no longer serves, to recharge. The cyclical nature of my creativity aligns with the natural flow of my female essence. There are times for action and times for pause, and trying to override that rhythm felt unnatural.
The effort to stay consistent and push out content when I wasn’t truly connected to it only led to a deeper realization. There’s a delicate balance between discipline and honoring your own cycles. I had tried to meet that balance through a schedule, but the attempt became a lesson. It reminded me that while strategy is important, it is equally vital to trust the greater flow guiding me. Forcing the process won't summon the genuine spark that makes the work worth doing, nor does it yield the type of energy that resonates with others. And so, the universe reminded me that no amount of planning can overpower the inner call to step back and align myself before moving forward.
There was a post on Threads that I came across yesterday that really put this into perspective for me, so I will share it here: "It's such a disservice to women that the only popular books about how to be successful are written by men with insane daily routines and toxic masculinity. These books and ways of being DO NOT apply to women. Men operate on a 24-hr cycle, while women operate on both a 24-hr AND 28-day cycle. Women are meant to view life through their cycle and energy fluctuations. This is where we find our success—by being in tune with our cycle, hormones, body, womb, and emotions." - @theascensionqueen